169 Comments

every time i think i can't finish one of your essays, i do. every insane scenario, every pivot to the next subject that only tangentially relates, every bit of snarky, hilarious commentary. your writing is perfect for people with ADHD and i truly appreciate that <3

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author

hahahah thank you??? i'm glad i can please the ADHD commmunity xx

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Exactly 💯

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Haha I love your humor and sometimes I secretly wish I could start all my essays with your “sorry I’m late..” and then something wild, because it’s so me. But I am an 80’s/90’s kid and plagiarism is embedded into my psyche. Are today’s kids deathly afraid of plagiarism? Probably not.

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Aug 8Liked by Jess Pan

Allie Brosh, how refreshing! Hyperbole and a Half is on my bookshelf, and just glancing at the cover makes me laugh. Such good medicine.

Your interaction with the passport officer was priceless. "Blow, sand, blow!" Who came up with that? I think your photo should go in the school's Hall of Fame for using that football cheer as a means of having your passport renewed. Pure gold.

I hope you feel better soon. I've missed your newsletters; they are truly the best thing in my inbox!

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author

thank you so much!!!!! yes Allie is so good!

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Hard not to fall all over myself gushing with compliments for this. It’s so refreshing to see how you use humor to reflect on yourself and those around you. Your ability to balance comedic virtuosity with genuine insight is remarkable. This is easily one of the funniest pieces I’ve read all year—bravo!

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too kind!!! thank you so much!!

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Aug 8Liked by Jess Pan

Interestingly, I am both unchill AND 1/4 Dutch plus taught high school for 16 years so I can manically prepare for everything/everyone while also staying calm & rational on the outside. I can be pretty fun at parties until I'm decidedly not, when I go hide somewhere with the host's dog or cat.

All the best to you during this time of shingles recovery, and I hope Gregg gets his act together soon ffs.

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i know, right? Come on Gregg

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Just to show off, the person who really did put "I told you I was ill" on his gravestone was Spike Milligan

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I knew two people who had shingles affect their eyes. Very painful. And some get it once, some get it every year. Get the shot.

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author

🫣

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Aug 8Liked by Jess Pan

Ok you are now the the third young person I "know" who developed shingles in the last year! Yikes! I wonder if there is any sort of correlation between this and covid's weakening effect on our immune systems!

One time my father-in-law came over to our house, pulled Hyperbole and a Half off our bookshelf, read the whole thing, then fell asleep on the couch. I love him.

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or we are just the unchill generation! Probably both!

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I had shingles. My doctor told me it’s because kids nowadays get the vaccine, so there’s not as much natural “boosters” that we are exposed to since kids in the US don’t have chicken pox anymore! Shingles was THE WORST! I agree with the author at feeling relief when I got diagnosed because I thought I broke my back! So painful.

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Damn, I better get the Shingles shot my doctor has been nagging me about because I am in my 60s.

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author

YOU BETTER GET IT, MONA

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At least you are chill about it 😂

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Be prepared - they [there are two shots O.o] hurt like a mf (a *breeze* on my arm afterward made me tear up) but only for a few days, which sounds better than dealing with actual shingles though.

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Good to know, but at the same time, it's not good to know. Hopefully, ice and Tylenol work to ease the pain.

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I would if I were you! I didn’t and got the shingles two years ago; my doctor told me it was the worst case she had ever seen! I had rashes on my left thigh, lower back and lower stomach and groin area. It was the most pain I’ve ever had. I still have neuropathy from it, but is finally going away. The Dr. gave me Gabapentin and that didn’t reduce the pain in the least, nothing worked on the intense pain and I cannot get the shingles shot for another year! Get your shingle shot, or like me you will regret it if you get the shingles. If you do get them there is a product on the market call “Terrasil”. It doesn’t stop the pain, but it does get rid of the rashes after 3-4 weeks of use.

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All of the comments prompted me to ask for a Shingles shot at my doctor's visit yesterday. Strangely, at least to me, she said I had to make a separate appointment and pay out of pocket for the shot. So, I will get the shot next month, first available. Until then, I'm meditating every day, in case Shingles are influenced by stress. Thanks for all the advice!

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I got the shots and still got Shingles!

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I remember the first thought that crossed my mind when I pieced together my symptoms and realized it was, indeed, shingles that I had —

BUT I’M NOT OLD?!

At 36, I couldn’t comprehend being able to get shingles… let alone surviving the terrible nerve pain. And Lord, the number of people that remarked how stressed I must have been to come down with it, as if unexpectedly homeschooling three kids during the height of a pandemic wasn’t obvious.

Anyways… from one survivor to another, I’m sorry!

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author

Ouch!!! With three kids at home? Noooooo!

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Aug 8Liked by Jess Pan

Acyclovir will help the shingles

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author

I’m on it!! ♥️

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i laughed aloud many times in this, thank you. Also amen to "Unchill people get things done."

I hope you recover very soon!

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author

thank you!!!

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Aug 8Liked by Jess Pan

I’ve had shingles since mid-May it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever had and I’ve had many painful things! It’s like being blowtorched from the inside out. Excruciating, debilitating, nothing soothes it not even a mixture of codeine, paracetamol, wine and ibuprofen.

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oh no!!!! that sounds awful!!! hope you feel better soon!!

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This is brilliant. I want to be best friends.

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Aug 9Liked by Jess Pan

Shingles is brutal. Got it few months ago, around my eye! As if this wasn't stressful enough, my ex canceled our plans to buy a house together and broke up for ambiguous reasons. Life's a bitch, but this post cheered me up, thanks.

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Aug 9Liked by Jess Pan

Fabulous as always, though I'm sorry to hear about the shingles and the stress and sorrow that gave rise to it. My husband Tom got it some years ago, on one buttock and thigh (tmi maybe). Our garage man ordered him to go to a magnetiseur (kind of French folk/faith healer, we have them on every corner, so much for your land of the philosophers and the Enlightenment) of his acquaintance; our doctor also mentioned this as a possibility, with a slightly sheepish, tongue-in-cheek look, 'some people say...'.

The magnetiseur was a dear old chap with a cosy, shabby little consulting room in his house. He got Tom to lie down and hovered his hands over the offending body parts while chatting to me about his school days. Then he hovered his hands over a plastic bottle of mineral water, wrapped it up in a few pages of Ouest France (local newspaper, solid, sober and centrist editorial line), and told Tom to drink a little of the water and also apply it topically to the affected areas. This would, he said, 'couper le feu'. I think we paid him about 20 euros. Tom was completely dismissive of the whole thing as hocus pocus, but went along with it anyway. Oddly though, that night he had a strange and rather moving dream about going away and returning to himself, and after that did seem to turn a corner, but he still won't countenance the idea that the magnetiseur made any difference.

Thanks to our local pharmacist, who diagnosed it from my description and insisted on personally making an emergency doctor's appointment, we got to it early and had him on the antivirals promptly, so that probably had more to do with it.

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ohhhh i want to see the magnetiseur. Also, do you know how much fun i'm having saying "le magnetiseur" ?

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Be well! What a reminder of our species: “I work for the virus.”

And life for an elderly man where cash is not accepted - that made me sad for him even through the gruntled damn you foreigner sentiment.

Finally, I like Gregg with 2 g’s. Am I rooting for the underdog?? But YOU are the underdog! I think every character in this tale except the Dalmatian may just be..

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re: elderly man - he's okay, he had a debit card, too. xx

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